Coat, hat, gloves, boots, wood-burning stove. Punxsatawny Phil. If unavailable, substitute groundhog living under shed in backyard. Snow, large pot, shovel, Kleenex, wine and candles.
Dress in 10 layers for warmth. Lace thigh-high boots. Retrieve dried gloves from top of wood-burner. Button warm coat that has Kleenex in pocket for moments of despair. Chill 2 bottles of Thunderbird in snow bank, drinking as needed to enable memory loss. Reserve 1 bottle for later. Shovel path to shed to retrieve Groundhog living under the back corner. Expect some kicking and screaming.
Light wood-burning stove. Place snow from driveway in pot. Melt and bring to boil. Add groundhog. Simmer until he says “Uncle!” Light candles. Enjoy meal by candlelight with reserved bottle of Thunderbird. Collapse on couch.